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Martha’s Story

Now, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to tell you the story that brought me to this moment with you.My twenty-ninth year of life pretty much sucked. I was working my way through school while raising three kids under the age of five, one with Down syndrome. I was under immense pressure both at home and at work, and I was also going on a decade of mysterious autoimmune symptoms that kept me in constant physical pain. No one knew exactly what was wrong with me, but every system in my body seemed to be weakening and falling apart.One day while teaching a class, I had a sudden burst of pain in my pelvic region. It was so severe I passed out. I was rushed to a doctor, who recommended emergency surgery. During the procedure, while under anaesthesia, I suddenly found myself completely alert but free from pain. Startled, I looked around the room—which was odd, because my eyes were closed. Yet I could see everything quite clearly.

I sat up, which was even odder, because my body still lay flat on the operating table. For a minute or so I watched the surgical team operating on me. They had found internal bleeding from scar tissue left by a previous trauma, and were checking for other problems. I lay back down, wondering what was happening to me.

Surgical lights are extremely bright. I know that because I stared up at them for a while. But about a minute after I became alert, another light appeared between the radiant panels above me. It was small at first, about the size of a golf ball, but even so, it outshone the surgical lights by a ratio of about a million to one. Yet it didn’t hurt my eyes; in fact, it was soothing and unbelievably beautiful. It’s impossible to explain how a ball of white light could be the most beautiful thing I’d ever experienced, but it was.

As I stared at the light, fascinated, it began to grow, filling the room. When it touched me, my whole body was flooded with warmth, sweetness, comfort, and peace. But the physical sensation was nothing compared to the emotions the light brought with it. It was like being wrapped in an indescribably loving embrace, exquisitely soft, unbelievably powerful.

I began to weep with wonder and intense relief as my usual anxiety and unhappiness gave way to joy, to a sense that I was finally, finally home. It was obvious to me that the light was conscious, a Presence whose intelligence and love exceeded anything accessible to human imagination. It knew my thoughts, and could communicate without any need for words.

For a moment I thought—I confess, I hoped—I was dying. But the light “told” me that I wasn’t. “This isn’t just the way you’ll feel after you die,” it seemed to say. “It’s the way you’re supposed to feel while you’re alive.” In fact, learning to experience this Presence while still in a physical body seemed to be the whole idea of being human.

I came out of that surgery obsessed with figuring out how to relocate the inexpressible joy the light brought with it. I use the term “relocate” because the light had told me it is always with me—and with every other living being.

First I asked the anesthesiologist what he’d given me (hoping that maybe he’d write me a prescription for more). He told me that he had seen me shedding tears on the operating table and become worried that I was in pain. But as he prepared to increase the dose of anesthesia, a voice had told him, “Don’t. She’s fine. She’s crying because she’s happy.” He said that in thirty years of medical practice, this had never happened to him before.

While disappointed that I couldn’t simply drug myself to Nirvana, I set out to do what the light had told me was the purpose of my life: to feel the Presence of that extraordinary energy while living an ordinary human life.

That’s how I started on the path that led me to do what I’m doing right now. Since that surgery, I’ve stumbled and bumbled around, always trying to re-access the exquisite happiness that I’ve come to think of as every human’s true nature. Sometimes I’ve done things that I thought would take me back to that feeling, and ended up miserable. Oops. Other times I’ve done things that seemed weird, but worked amazingly well. And as I learned, I realized that whatever made me feel most joyful also worked best in the practical aspects of my life: work, relationships, health, everything.

All the self-help I’ve ever written, all the coaching I’ve ever done, has been driven by my attempt to let go of everything that is not that Light, that Presence. Whenever I found something that worked, I’d write it or teach it, trying to help others find joy, guidance, and healing without as many blunders and delays, as I’ve experienced.

So that’s why I’m doing this right now. I want you to feel the joy of your true nature, your deep, vast, wild, unfathomable spirit. But this isn’t a class about achieving states of bliss through mystical states. It’s about connecting with your spirit through the process of living your life—or, as I’d rather put it, leading your life.

Lissa’s Story

As children, we are all born with healthy, vital spirits, and after a happy childhood, my soul was still very alive through my teen years, but my medical education changed all that. After a decade of selling out my soul in service to an admittedly traumatic medical education, my spirit got a bit lost under a fog of Small Self which I unwittingly built up to protect myself, not realizing that the very thing I thought would keep me safe created decades of unnecessary suffering in the form of physical health problems, failed relationships, and the symptoms of what the shamans call “soul loss.” What do I mean by soul loss? It tends to show up as a shadowy mix of depression, anxiety, chronic fatigue, physical pain, poor sleep, a lagging sex life, a loss of meaning and purpose, a feeling of disconnection with other people and the Divine, failure to respond fully to any Western medical or psychiatric treatment, a lot of fear-based decision-making, and dark nights of the soul. Yet the worst part of this kind of soul loss is that most people don’t even realize they’re affected by it. They just feel sort of low . . . and that’s how I felt after twelve years of medical education and eight years of practicing as a very successful doctor in San Diego. Then my Perfect Storm hit in 2006.

Before my Perfect Storm, on the outside, it looked like I had the perfect life. I made a cushy six-figure living in a job that allowed me to do something meaningful and afforded me a lot of luxuries—like an ocean view house, a vacation home, a European convertible, island vacations, and expensive dinners out. I had married a lovely man and was pregnant with our first child. I even had a fulfilling side business as a professional artist having art shows at galleries. From what I let my friends and family see, surely, my life was worthy of envy. And that’s how my Small Self liked . . .

Few people guessed that something was eating away at my soul from the inside out. I was so worried people could see how dark it had gotten inside of me that I tried even harder to cover my darkness with a mask of perfection. The more worried I got that I would somehow blow my cover, the more pressure I put upon myself to keep the masks in place. But those masks only furthered my disconnection from my soul. I had the Doctor Mask, which led me to climb up onto a pedestal and pretend to know it all. Then I had the Artist Mask, where I pretended to be deep and brooding and mysterious. And then there was the Mommy Mask and the Perfect Wife Mask, which led me to feel the pressure of baking the perfect cupcake or always wearing sexy lingerie in bed. It was exhausting, trying to keep up appearances, when deep down, I felt so lost, lonely, scared, and vulnerable. I had many dark nights of the soul, and one night, after a particularly painful day at work where I felt like I had completely betrayed my spirit, I even considered suicide. But I was pregnant. Surely, I couldn’t do that to my baby.

I felt helpless, hopeless, and victimized, and my Small Self was too caught up in appearances to even seek out help. After all, I was a respected doctor, a pillar of my community. I thought I had to keep up the appearance of having it all together. Otherwise, who would trust me to take care of them?

Then my Perfect Storm blew through. Within two weeks of giving birth to my daughter, my dog died, my healthy young brother wound up in full blown liver failure as a rare side effect from the antibiotic Zithromax, and my beloved father passed away from a brain tumor. All hell broke loose, and my beleaguered spirit stood up and said, “NO MORE!”

After one nightmarish event at work, I finally decided to quit my job in conventional medicine in 2007. I now see that as a sentinel moment in the evolution of my soul. I swear that I was so out of alignment with my soul that the Universe took matters into its own hands and pushed me into circumstances that required me to take a stand for my Highest Self, and in doing so, my spiritual path of healing began.

Shortly after quitting my job, long before I ever wrote blogs or books or had any sort of “platform,” I wound up taking a writing workshop at Esalen Institute in Big Sur, where a quiet little voice inside me kept telling me I was supposed to go and meet someone. After ignoring the little voice for way too long, I finally gave in, and when I arrived at Esalen, the first woman I met asked me why I was there, and I said, “Because I’m supposed to meet someone here.”

After listening to a little bit of my story, she piped up and said, “Oh, you’re supposed to meet Rachel Naomi Remen.” I had never heard of Rachel. The second woman I met said, “Oh you’re supposed to meet Martha Beck.” I hadn’t heard of Martha either. I gobbled up everything both Martha and Rachel had ever written lickety-split, and I knew right then that I needed more of whatever it was these women were evoking in me. Through stories too long to tell here, both women became spiritual guides, mentors, and friends, and many mysterious, magical unfoldings helped save me from myself through some sort of inexplicable grace.

Under their care and guidance, some dim part of me I had almost lost touch with, the part I now call my “Inner Pilot Light,” began to flicker, and with the medicine of the writings and teachings of these two mentors, I started to feel whole again for the first time in years. Once the gash in my soul started mending, other parts of my life started falling into place. I started blogging and writing books and got in touch with my life’s purpose. Doing my soul’s work generated plenty of revenue so I could dig my family out of the hole of debt I had landed us in. Relationships I had nearly destroyed began to heal, and I started attracting new relationships into my life with people who were on the same kind of spiritual journey I was. As a result, my spiritual life, which I had long ago abandoned because my spirit didn’t resonate with the rigidity and judgments of my strict Christian upbringing, began to come back to life. I found myself on a path of growth and commitment to my own truth in a way that feels very authentic for me. My personal journey embraces many religious practices and beliefs without marrying me to any one, and has also included a heck of a lot of therapy and spiritual counseling, mostly aimed at dismantling my very hard-headed, controlling, skeptical, and resistant Small Self.

I didn’t quite realize at the time what I was signing up for when I stepped onto the spiritual path. I didn’t realize how much I would be asked to give up because so much of the comfort in my life was compromising the integrity of my soul. As Adyashanti writes in The End of Your World, “Make no mistake about it—enlightenment is a destructive process…Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It’s seeing through the facade of pretense. It’s the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true.”

All I can say is “Amen to that!” Yet strangely, embarking upon this spiritual path is the best thing that ever happened to me because the prize for the hard work of shedding all the untruth has been a deep and abiding peace, an inner stillness that’s not vulnerable to the chaos of the outer world. Even when things aren’t going the way my Small Self wishes they would, something in me—call it my spirit, my soul, or my Inner Pilot Light—trusts that all is as it should be. This gives me the courage to say no to everything that doesn’t completely align with my truth. I don’t always get it right. It’s a constant practice of surrender and trust. I need a lot of support from my soul community, my mentors, and my spiritual guides. But it’s worth the effort. I wouldn’t change a this . . .

The strange side effect of all this spiritual work is that I was able to get off all seven medications I was taking, I feel like I’m more and more aligned with my true purpose in my career, the relationships that really nourish me are strengthening, and I feel truly, deeply fulfilled and happy—and I want you to feel the same kind of peaceful fulfillment.

We are at a potent time of evolution as human beings, and in order to step into what we must do in order to further this kind of spiritual evolution, each of us will be called to cleanse ourselves from all that holds us back—the attachment to the Small Self, the wounds of the past, the fears that constrict us, and the limiting beliefs that hold us back from fully aligning with Who We Really Are on the spiritual plane. Martha and I both feel deeply called to stand beside you as you journey towards your true self, in service not just to your own healing, but to the healing of nature, our species, and the planet. When we all heal together, we free ourselves, and when we are free of all that limits us, miracles will happen. We know. We’ve experienced this kind of magic personally, and you will to . . . when you’re ready.

Imagine this:

Because of your deep healing, you’re able to finally . . .

In Coming Home to Your Spirit, you’ll:

We’re confident that you’ll be completely satisfied with your investment in this program. That’s why this program is backed by our personal, 14-day 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Our Personal 100% Money Back Guarantee

You have a full 14 days to participate in the program, and if, after 14 days, you don’t feel like your soul is further on its journey to healing, you can just let us know and we’ll process a complete refund of your purchase price. Simply contact our support team at info@lissarankin.com.

Purchases are non-transferable.